Saturday mornings in the 70’s I’d watch the Superfriends. As soon as American Bandstand came on, I sprang outside and fled away on my Huffy bike. Back then the air was crisp, sky was blue, streets were safe, rock music was played and you didn’t have to wear bike helmets. Life was good.

Then a recession hit. Bam! Gas prices were high. Iran was the enemy. Jobs were lost, and the Carter administration was taking all the heat.

Things went from bad to worse. So bad, they canceled Superfriends! In a time of uncertainty, they canceled the one show that was “dedicated to truth, justice, and peace for all mankind”. “How! Why! Why!” I had shouted out to my uncaring parents.

The Superfriends just ended abruptly. I never got closure. I was a tortured soul.

Fortunately, I was able to nab the last script for Superfriends that NEVER aired. Finally I got closure. I’d like to share the story that was never told…

Meanwhile at the Justice League of America Superman meets with HR….

HR: Thanks for taking the time to meet with me Superman.

Superman: Sure what’s on your mind?

HR: We need to layoff someone from the team and…

Superman: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You can’t lay me off! I just bought a freakin’ condo in Midtown! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God (Hyperventilates).

HR: Get a grip! We’re not letting you go, but somebody on the team has to go.

Superman: Right. That’s easy. Wonder woman.

HR: What?! She is the only woman on this team.

Superman: She can be a real (catching himself)….tough to work with sometimes.

HR: Look, I’ve had numerous investigations from the EEOC and we’re already noncompliant with OFCCP. She is here to stay. Get over it.

Superman: …

HR: How about Batman? He has some anger management issues and hard to locate at times.

Superman: The Joker has broken out of prison 642 times. I’d have some anger management issues too. Prison security is a joke, no pun intended. Besides, Batman plays short stop on the company softball team. We are in the middle of playoffs. He stays.

HR: What about Robin?

Superman: (crossing his arms) What about him?

HR: He’s a sidekick, a liability at times and doesn’t have any real superhero powers.

Superman: He answers the phones, does the mail, and he is really good with computers.

HR: That leaves Green Lantern and Aquaman.

Superman: Well, I’ve tried to get Aquaman to fight more villains on land.

HR: Are you saying he is a poor performer?

Superman: Well…he is very talented in the water.

HR: But, a poor performer on land?

Superman: I guess you can say that.

HR: I’ll let him know today.

HR OFFICE

Aquaman: Did you want to see me?

HR: Have a seat. Look, it’s a tough year. The economy is the worst in decades and we are going to have let some folks go.

Aquaman: Are you laying me off?

HR: This was a tough decision on our part. You are great asset in the water, but…

Aquaman: This place has never appreciated my work!! I do most of the dirty work too! You ever tried to recruit a giant squid?

HR: No.

Aquaman: Ever conduct a behavioral interview with a shark!

HR: Can’t say that I have…

Aquaman: I’ve put all these programs together to make the Ocean a safer place! And, this is how you treat me?

HR: I understand your frustration, but most of the crimes are on dry land.

Aquaman:. Just give me my severance and I’ll pack my stuff and get out of here.

HR: Well, that’s going to be tough. See, you were never paid. So we can’t give you a severance package.

THE END….

My fellow Recruiters we’re like the Superfriends. Yes, when times are good we are heroes! But, when times are tough, we are the unrecognized talent. Some recruiters are the Aquaman types - laid off, cast away, and tossed out like bad shag carpet. Don’t get caught, find a place that needs your talent and skills.

Views: 120

Comment by Dan Nuroo on March 10, 2009 at 9:35am
Michael, what a great post.. appealed to me no end. I can remember as a young lad wanting to be Flash... not sure the full body red lycra would cut it with HR from a dress standard point of view though....

Thanks for this.
Comment by Stephen on March 10, 2009 at 9:59am
I say 'bag' the teen sidekicks and the pets. Keep Aquaman for god sake! I liked Firestorm, Green Lantern and Flash too. Can we add them and replace the Bat blunder and his sidekick? More diversity?!! Diversity is good. HR will approve.
Comment by Laraine Spears on March 10, 2009 at 12:02pm
Hilarious post Michael. As an upcoming "shag carpet" toss away, I can really appreciate the humor. I can't however, ignore the irony of our profession and often wonder why I stay in a profession with little or no real appreciation.
Comment by See_Jane_Recruit on March 10, 2009 at 12:26pm
Lol. Wasn't there an episode of family guy where a lady is getting attacked on shore and Aquaman is in the water yelling, "Hey You! Stop that of I'll...well, if you ever get in the water you're in trouble!" Funny post!
Comment by Michael Glenn on March 10, 2009 at 3:03pm
Raynne: Superman couldn't let Aquaman go, he is not a villian. HR does get all the bad rap though....

See Jane: Yes, that Family Guy episode was classic. Thanks for reminder, I'll embed that clip on to my page.
Comment by Dan Nuroo on March 10, 2009 at 10:42pm
Did HR have a secret lair? or a special "you're fired" ray? hit a button and a hologram of Donald Trump pops up!

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