The Best Linkedin Invites Ever Written - For Recruiters

I was on the sofa picking my nose and watching MTV, when my Dad shouts, “Get a job!” I reminded Pops that I needed a car to get to a job. He reminded me (again) of my dusty moped. Again, I pleaded how hard it was to maintain a studly image riding a Moped.

“Get a job or find another home!” He ordered.

16 years of building my image – A collection of the finest samples of cologne, Polo collar turned up and advanced technology in Acne medication – all for naught.

It was the summer of 1986. I rode off on my sputtering Moped.

My search finally paid off. I landed work bagging groceries. I was able to get enough cash for a down payment on a fine automobile.

Over night, I went from a lonesome loser on a moped to a trendy teen in a car. My friends and I circled the Multiplex Cinemas whilst never stopping to talk to anyone.

However those months on a Moped had taken a toll. The nerdy helmet, the pedals, the kick start, and that HELMET! I was a Dead Man walking Atomic Wedgie!

It took a lot of group therapy (Breakfast club style) to heal the mental scarring.

I look back now…

If only I had Linkedin or, even Facebook! My job search could have been done inside the comfort of my bedroom.

I don’t want you, my recruiting brethren, to go through this kind embarrassing job search.

So, I want to share the best Linkedin invites ever written. Feel free to use these as templates or modify them to your own needs.

Dear Shally
Since you are a person who knows everyone, I hope you know that my job is in now India and my wife keeps an attorney magnet on fridge. No pressure. I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin.

Dear Slouch,
Thanks for registering at the Bates Motel for Recruit Fest 2009. We’ve slashed our prices this year and Mother says that were a Cut above the others. I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin.

Dear Gerry Crispin
I’d like to invite you out bird hunting sometime on the Bush family ranch along with Dick Cheney. Please accept my Linkedin invite.

Dear Headcount,
Did you get all 50 resumes that I sent last week? Since I have been following you for the last two years, I left you a lock of my hair with my last resume. Anyways, I’d like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin.

Dear Animal,
Since you are person I can trust that will not share on your radio show what happened at last year’s ERE Conference about the whole streaking incident. Which I was later embarrassed to learn they were filming COPS! Please add me to your professional network.

Dear Maureen,
Call me. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. And add me to your Linkedin.

Dear Lou Adler,
Here are three easy steps to hiring a good recruiter. Step One: login to Linkedin. Step Two: search my name, Step Three: add me to your professional network on Linkedin.

Dear Fistful of Talent:
My name is Count Dracula. I am big fan. Come to my country. I have big castle. Bring your entire staff. We can enjoy daytime activities and doing normal thing like blog and twitter. Please add me to your network.

Dear Recruiter(s)
I faxed my resume in 1997 and I’ve steadily applied to your open positions over the last 11 years. You should have about 20 different resumes in your ATS and I’ve applied to everything from CEO to helpdesk just so you can see me. Anyways, will you add me to your professional network on Linkedin?

Feel free to add some of your favorite Linkedin invites.

p.s. Add me to your Linkedin Network – thanks Michael Glenn ( Headcount)

Views: 1952

Comment by Amitai Givertz on March 13, 2009 at 8:22am
Too funny.
Comment by Maureen Sharib on March 13, 2009 at 8:59am
You forgot your area code. ALWAYS REMEMBER your area code. Or you'll never be found.
Comment by See_Jane_Recruit on March 13, 2009 at 9:23am
You forgot this one:

Dear Michael Glenn,

I do not have a resume but I am well-branded and have connections with the mayor. However, I am only available at night and the cape is non-negotiable. Gotham has created new emission standards causing me to rebuild my network on Linkedin. Please add me.
Comment by Ben Gotkin on March 13, 2009 at 12:34pm
How about this LinkedIn message I actually received yesterday (names have been masked to protect the guilty:

Subject: Director of Recruiting

Hello Ben,

Your resume was sent to me through Linkedin. {Company Name} in {City, State}, has a full time position available.
Please see our web site at {web address} and let me know if you are interested in speaking with the hiring manager.

Thank you and have a great day!

Jane Doe
{Position Title}
{Company Name}

Now what makes this funny is that I haven't sent my resume to anyone in close to 3 years, so I have no idea how they got my resume in the first place, PLUS, when I went to the company website, there were no positions listed that were relevant to me, let alone a Director of Recruiting listing.

If I get a generic invite from this person as a follow-up, I'll let you know.
Comment by Jenny DeVaughn on March 16, 2009 at 8:24am
What about the "I'm out of invites" invite? It has to be one of my biggest LI pet peeves.


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